My thanks to my three editors, T'Aaneli,
Mary A. Shukes, and Greywolf, for their encouragement and support. If there
are any errors, blame me, not them.
Kirk stood under the water and let it fall on him. The spray was very strong and hot and felt like a thousand pinpricks. It felt good, almost like a massage. He let himself languish in the heat, feeling the water flowing off of him, splashing to the floor. He liked the sound it made, like a soft roar in his ears. It was almost comforting.
He's coming home today.
He leaned his body against the side of the shower with his head resting on his arms, his back taking the brunt of the water's assault. He could feel the water run all over his backside, down through the crevice of his butt to his legs and on to his feet. The water was so hot it began to burn, but he didn't change the temperature. He wanted to burn.
He spread his legs wider, exposing as much of that sensitive area as possible without actually spreading his cheeks. He felt the water flow around through the crevice to the other side, touching the tender skin of his sac. A deep groan escaped his lips.
He's coming home today. Today I will hold him.
It took all of his control not to start rubbing himself along the side of the shower, but he held on fast and wouldn't let himself give in to the urge. And the urge was great, almost overpowering. Every nerve in his body sang with tension, and still he kept his control and didn't give in.
Kirk knew he was torturing himself, but he couldn't help it. Deep down inside he suspected he was a bit of a sadomasochist. A gentle sadomasochist, if that was possible.
Now what would Spock say to that?
The thought made him smile and released some of the tension in his body. He reached down and turned off the hot water. Even though he knew what to expect, he still gasped in surprise as ice cold water rushed down over him.
For the past two months, since Spock had left for Iharo, this had been his morning ritual. Every day he would wake up fully aroused. He would lie in bed and think of Spock. Of Spock's hands touching him. The way his body felt as it lay next to him. What it was like to nestle, to spoon, to nuzzle his nose into Spock's neck. Then he would think about having Spock's cock deep in his throat. The feel of Vulcan fire surrounding his fingers as he gently probed. That wonderful sensation of being opened. He would lie there and think, never touching himself, until he was on the brink of orgasm. Then he would ruthlessly clamp down on his desire and rise out of bed to take a scalding hot shower. The hot water would stimulate the rest of his skin, searing every part of his body. And, when he couldn't stand it any longer, he would slack the fire that burned him with ice water.
The cold usually did the trick, but it wasn't working this time.
Still very hard, Kirk got out of the shower and began to get dressed. He was running late and was due on the bridge in fifteen minutes. He would have to forego breakfast this morning, he thought. Another small sacrifice.
There were variations to his morning ritual. Sometimes he would go straight for the cold shower, knowing that if he didn't he would lose control. Other times, he would wake early and start slow, building the arousal like a pyramid. But he never let himself reach the top.
Days were easy. He had the Enterprise to distract him. There was always an emergency, some important assignment or mission that would occupy his days. It was the nights that tested his strength.
He would lie awake for hours, fending off sleep for as long as he could. Sleep was the only place where Kirk couldn't keep his control. Countless times these past two months he had woken up to find himself violently bucking into the bed, Spock's name on his lips as he spilled himself onto the sheets. He didn't mind. The dreams were very vivid, almost like having the real thing. And he supposed that his body needed the release. Spending two months in a constant state of arousal can be very taxing. It was just hard to wake from one of those dreams and find yourself alone in bed, your stomach crusty, and no Spock to turn to. So he turned to his morning ritual. In a strange sort of way, it gave him comfort.
And to think, he had encouraged Spock to accept the assignment on Iharo. At the time he hadn't realized the negotiations would drag on for as long as they had. Of course, he never would have told Spock to turn it down. Even if the assignment had been for years instead of months. He could not ask that of Spock. That was not his right. But, this separation was excruciating. If he closed his eyes and looked inward he could feel the bond pulsating, pulling him towards his mate. He wondered if it was always going to be like this. Or was this separation painful because the bond was so young. It wasn't even a year old.
Only one day to go. Why does twelve hours suddenly feel like twelve years?
It was not in Kirk's nature to deny himself pleasure. And for the first week after Spock's departure he hadn't. He was a man accustomed to the lonely art of masturbation. In a perverse way he had even looked forward to it, to the fantasies he would create about Spock, being able to control every detail. Just the thought would make him hard. But every time he brought himself to orgasm, just at the critical moment, his mind would call out for the other half of the bond, wanting to join, and find nothing. The distance was too great and Kirk wasn't strong enough to open the link across all those light years. Sometimes, if he meditated like Spock had taught him, he could. But masturbating and meditating didn't mix very well. Although, gods help him, he had tried that as well.
Occasionally, when Spock opened the link between them and felt Kirk's arousal through the bond, they would find release together, sharing their orgasms light years apart. But Spock was a busy man on Iharo and the negotiations were difficult. He had to keep tight control and be emotionally well shielded, especially since the Iharosians were empathically quite sensitive. Kirk couldn't ask for more than Spock could give. Certainly not as frequently as Kirk needed him.
He found he couldn't face that loneliness. It was different than the loneliness he had been used to. This left him feeling hollow, groping for that other half. So he denied himself. And he could still fantasize.
As Kirk put his pants on, he realized that he was going to have a little problem. He looked down at himself and willed his cock to go limp. It didn't work. Sighing, he tucked the head of his erection into the waistband of his Starfleet issue underwear. He hated wearing underwear, but there was no avoiding it this time, he thought as he clasped his pants shut. There was a very visible protrusion neatly defined by the tightness of the uniform pants. Oh well, he thought, it wouldn't be the first time.
I guess it's crossed legs for me today.
Uncomfortable, horny, and late, Kirk left for the bridge. Today was going to be a long, dull and boring day. But, today, the fast would end. Spock was coming home.
Spock stood on the edge of the balcony overlooking the city below, facing the oncoming sunset. It was cool outside and the wind was blowing softly, bringing a pleasant aroma along with it. He recognized several of the native plants and flowers mixed in with the smells of dinner cooking. He breathed deeply; such fresh aromatic air was hard to come by on board the Enterprise.
The sunsets on the planet Iharo were legendary. People came from all over the quadrant to view just one. There was a special mixture of hydrocarbons and oxides that resided naturally within the atmosphere. The refraction of light from the setting sun caused the sky to be filled with a multitude of colors. Some of those colors, Spock had never seen before.
He watched as the sun began its descent into the horizon. Tonight, the sky started with a deep gold yellow color. Slowly the yellow/gold began to have streaks of green/gold running across. Just one green/gold streak, then two, three, soon the sky was a brilliance of green/gold/yellow. Then the green began to deepen and became laced with different shades of purple and red. The purple/red grew and began to encompass more of the sky. Soon the heavens were awash with purple/violet/red and green/gold/yellow fighting for mastery, each trying to out-do the other. But as the sun lowered, it took the warmer colors with it and the purples and reds took over the horizon. It was a breathtaking sight. The red that pierced the sky almost hurt, it's intensity was so strong Spock found himself squinting and shielding his eyes. As the sun disappeared entirely, the deep purples and violets took over and the sky turned into inky darkness.
Spock stood looking out into the night for a long time after the last of the colors faded away. That had been his last sunset on this planet, his fifty-fourth. Tomorrow morning he would be returning to the Enterprise.
The people of Iharo were a telepathic race and the Federation needed a telepathic go-between to help with negotiations. Sarek had been unavailable and so they had turned to Spock, he being the logical second choice. It was an opportunity he could not let pass by. He had heard of the Iharo before, a peaceful race of artists and scientists who had previously turned down an offer to join the Federation. They had not had a favorable first impression from Starfleet and thought the Federation to be totally lacking in artistry to say nothing of scientific development. Indeed, their own achievements were quite impressive. They were a far more advanced race and saw no benefits from forming an alliance with the Federation.
Spock saw the logic in their arguments, but it had been his duty to try and convince them to join. After two months, the diplomatic team and the leaders of the Iharo had reached an agreement. The Iharo would join with the understanding that they would take the role of teacher to most of the other races in the Federation. The Iharo had liked that.
Spock was pleased with the success of the diplomatic team. He genuinely enjoyed the company of the Iharosians. They were a gentle race and their psionic abilities were mainly empathic bondings with some telepathy. This gave them a unique harmony, an ability to unite and work as a whole rather than as individuals. A truly rare occurrence in this universe. Everywhere you turned on this planet there was something new to admire, a remarkable world. Yet, Spock had found it lacking. Since the beginning of the mission, he had been plagued with this heaviness, this longing imbedded deep in his heart and in his loins. He knew where it came from. From hundreds of light years away, he felt the pull of his bondmate calling him.
Sometimes the call was so great he would wake up disoriented, his surroundings unfamiliar, aware of nothing save this coursing need inflaming his body. Occasionally the call would overcome him and he would find himself soaked with his own spend. He had taken to waking up early and meditating for a few hours at the start of every day. It would not do at all to arrive at the negotiations in the state he tended to wake in.
A few years ago he would have been appalled at such a staggering lack of control. Now, he no longer castigated himself. He knew that it was just another aspect of his bond with Kirk, as unavoidable as the colors of the sunset. The fire that burned between them was sometimes too great to be contained.
Spock knew that his bondmate's hedonistic tendencies were directly to blame for most of his lack of control. He knew and he did not care. He had lost his heart to Kirk because of who Kirk was. He could no more change Kirk than he could stop the Iharo sun from setting. And, he admitted to himself, he liked Kirk's hedonistic tendencies, in fact he reveled in them.
He closed his eyes and focused on the link that pulsed quietly in his mind. The pull was stronger now, than yesterday. It got stronger with every passing minute. Every passing minute brought his T'hy'la closer to him.
Spock stood on the balcony and faced the now night shrouded city. The sunset was over, yet he was reluctant to leave the sanctuary of the balcony. These sunsets had been a type of refuge for him, a solace. He would miss them. He closed his eyes and said a silent goodbye to that breathtaking beauty.
Yes, I am here.
Soon, T'hy'la, soon we will be as one.
I don't think I can wait much longer.
Patience is a virtue.
Easy for you to say.
No T'hy'la, not so easy.
I want you.
Yes, I can feel you. Touching and touched.
I miss you.
Wait for me.
"Sir, transporter room reports they've received Mr. Spock's coordinates and are ready for transport."
"Good. Transporter room, this is the Captain. Tell Commander Spock to report to my quarters at his earliest convenience, Kirk out. " Kirk paused for a moment. He wanted to run with all his might to the transporter room and attack Spock as soon as he materialized. He let the urge pass through; remembering that patience is a virtue.
"Mr. Scott, report to the Bridge." He turned to Lieutenant Uhura. "Lieutenant, please give the Iharo a proper farewell. They're new to the Federation, let's show them some courtesy."
"Yes, Sir. Captain, transporter room reports Mr. Spock on board"
Kirk closed his eyes as he gripped the arms of his chair, trying to keep from disgracing himself in front of his crew. The pressure from his cock straining against his tight pants was becoming unbearable. He had to get off the bridge.
Where the hell is Scotty?
"Mr. Sulu lay in a course for Starbase 12, warp 2."
"Course laid in Sir."
"Take her out."
Kirk sat stiffly, trying not to anticipate the sound of the turbolift doors opening. He wanted to reach for the link, wanted to feel Spock in his mind, but he dared not. If he did, he would probably explode.
That wouldn't do at all.
With a swoosh, the turbolift doors opened and Scotty entered the bridge.
"Reporting as ordered Captain."
"Thank you Mr. Scott. You have the con."
Trying not to sprint, Kirk quickly made his way to the lift.
"If you need me, I'll be in my quarters." Kirk disappeared behind the closing doors.
Scotty couldn't keep the smile from spreading. As he turned to sit, he caught Uhura's eyes and saw the same smile reflected back.
Kirk stood outside his quarters. He could feel Spock's presence behind the door, pulling him in. But he was suddenly shy. Like a starving man presented with a banquet who had forgotten how to chew, he began to feel a quiet desperation. The feeling was unfounded, he knew, but he couldn't help it. He was scared to face Spock. Scared of what, he couldn't exactly name.
Just then the doors opened. Kirk looked up and found himself face to face with a tall, dark, and handsome Vulcan. All time stopped as reality hit him. This wasn't a fantasy, this was real. This was Spock, his best friend, his lover, his bondmate standing in front of him. Waiting for him to enter so that he could make mad passionate love to him all night long.
It seemed as if eternity passed while he lost himself in the abyss of Spock's eyes. Spock slowly reached and pulled Kirk in to the room, allowing the doors to close.
They stood just inside his quarters, staring at each other. Kirk was frozen in place, unable to move. Transfixed by the image of his fantasies standing before him.
Do not be scared, T'hy'la.
Scared? Was I scared? I don't remember that.
With one hand still holding Kirk's arm, Spock brought his other hand up to Kirk's face and lightly touched the golden hair, smoothing the lock that had fallen out of place.
That broke the dam. With one swift movement Kirk brought his hands up to the Vulcan's head and brought him down into a fierce kiss, claiming Spock's mouth as if the key to salvation lay within. It was a deep soul-shattering kiss that stole their breaths and left them gasping. Yet, Kirk couldn't stop, couldn't come up for air, couldn't get enough of that exquisite taste; he was a drowning man. His tongue delved deep as he explored every corner of Spock's mouth, whimpering with need.
Spock put his hands on Kirk's shoulders and pushed him away, breaking the kiss. Kirk moaned in protest, he was breathing hard and his entire body was shaking. Spock looked into Kirk's eyes, the color of an Iharosian sunset, and began to understand.
T'hy'la, what have you been doing to yourself?
Spock, I can't wait any longer. Please.
Spock felt the need rolling off the younger man's body in waves. Kirk was trembling uncontrollably, desperately trying to keep from crumbling to the floor.
"I need you, my friend."
Spock made a decision then. With one swift movement the Vulcan pinned Kirk against the wall and resumed their kiss. This time, it was he that searched for the answer, taking control as he ravished Kirk's mouth. Reaching between them, he unfastened Kirk's pants and began to pull them down. He broke the kiss, ignoring Kirk's groan and knelt in front, pushing the pants as far as they could go past the hips. Gentleness was lost as he yanked, fueled by his Captain's desperation. He paused just long enough to gaze at the straining cock before him, glistening with pre-come. Then, with an efficiency of movement took him deep into his throat. He placed his hands on either side of Kirk's hips to steady him as he continued his assault. Each time he came to the head, he swirled his tongue around the tip, sucking just the top while applying pressure at the sensitive point just bellow the ridge. Then he would plunge the entire shaft deep into his throat, raking his tongue down the side. Kirk would not last long, he knew.
Kirk dared not look down. Instead he closed his eyes and concentrated on remaining upright. He spread his legs wide to secure his balance and brought his hands to rest on Spock's head. As he felt his pleasure cresting, Kirk reached within and touched their bond and felt it open. He began to thrust against Spock's mouth, feeling the answering echo of his own cock thrusting in his mouth. He was afraid Spock would choke, but he couldn't stop. Then, with a light caress, Spock inserted the tip of his finger into the opening of Kirk's body. That undid him. At the critical moment he found his other half within, as he erupted into Spock's mouth. Kirk made an indescribable noise as he felt his own semen course down his throat, losing himself in the link that made him whole.
Spock stood up, slowly, keeping his hands on Kirk's hips, steadying the other man's precarious balance. He pulled Kirk into an embrace, gathering him into his arms and holding him tight. Kirk shuddered against Spock, his need from before returning as he felt Vulcan hardness pressing into his belly.
"Shhh. Do not speak."
Spock gently leaned forward and silenced Kirk with his lips. Kissing him slowly and thoroughly, the taste of his lover on his lips. This time he wanted to savor Kirk, drink as much of him as possible.
Kirk freed his arms and began to remove Spock's tunic, struggling to raise it over his head without stopping the kiss. He was desperate to feel that soft skin against his own. They released each other long enough to fling their respective tunics away. Simultaneously they moved towards the bed, still kissing, somewhat awkwardly since Kirk's pants were still around his hips.
Have you been in this state for the entire time of my absence?
Spock, I missed you so. Without you I'm...I...I couldn't help it. I only had to think of you...I'm sorry.
Jim, there is no need for shame between us. You are who you are. Let me take this hunger from you.
Together, they fell onto the bed. Once again, Spock pinned Kirk beneath him. He moved from Kirk's mouth to his neck sending shivers throughout the human's body as he lovingly ravished the sensitive skin. Then he began to travel downwards as he kissed, stopping at an erect nipple. He split his attention between both nipples as his hands touched Kirk everywhere, never stopping as they explored every inch that they could reach, fueled by the sounds emanating from his bondmate. After he was satisfied that both nipples were properly erect, he moved on.
Kirk raised his head and looked down at the Vulcan as he kissed his stomach. Gasping at the feel of hot, wet tongue swirling around his navel. Kirk moaned softly as the Vulcan pulled away to remove Kirk's pants and shoes. Then he moaned again as he felt the return of Spock's hands. Writhing as those hot hands began to massage his legs, working the muscles groups down to his feet. Everywhere that Spock touched left a burning sensation.
Kirk was hard again, hard from watching Spock's hands roam over his body. Hard from the feel of Vulcan fire singeing his inner thighs as he was branded with kisses. He couldn't bear the separation any longer. He needed Spock, needed to have him, needed to fuck him. Simple release was not enough. Spock looked up and met Kirk's eyes as he sensed his lover's desire. Perspiration was gathering on the human's face and he was breathing hard. Raw hunger was in his eyes.
Lightning quick, Kirk turned to grab the lube that he kept near the bed. As he turned back ready to devour Spock, the sight of the Vulcan removing his pants rendered him immobile. He held his breath as the Vulcan's penis sprang free of its constraints. How could he have forgotten such beauty? Kirk tore his eyes away from that gorgeous cock and brought them up to meet Spock's. He felt himself melt from the heat of that look.
Finally free of his clothing, Spock crawled slowly across the bed to Kirk with a feral look in his eyes. He took the lube from Kirk's trembling fingers and began to gently coat his bondmate's cock, all the while holding Kirk's gaze. The human let out a shuddered sigh. When he finished with Kirk's cock, he applied more to his hand and slowly reached around and began to slick the small opening to his body. It was one of the most erotic sights Kirk had ever seen. He was on the verge now, but he still held on. As Spock continued to apply the lube, he leaned in and began to kiss Kirk gently, closing the gap between them. An electric shock passed through both bodies as their cocks touched.
Quickly, before they both could erupt, Spock turned around and got on his hands and knees, offering himself. All thought fled from Kirk's mind and was replaced by burning need.
He was on Spock in a heartbeat, rubbing his sex along the crack. Spock pushed himself against his lover's warmth, rubbing the slickness all over. Kirk let out a heart-wrenching sob as he wrapped his arms around the Vulcan, collapsing against Spock's back. Not waiting another moment, he maneuvered himself and found the opening to the Vulcan and began to slowly enter.
Just at the moment of penetration, Spock opened the bond as wide as it would go and fused their minds as one.
The result was instant combustion. Both men cried out in unison as Kirk drove himself in. He almost lost it then. They both almost did. The intensity of their union was overpowering. He could feel his own cock impaling him, simultaneously feeling himself being sheathed in molten heat. Somehow, from the back of his mind, Kirk called upon his new found mastery, his hard won skill and pulled back on his climax, taking Spock with him.
Slowly they began to move, together. Gently at first, then with a growing urgency, grinding against each other. Colliding as if they sought to occupy the same space physically as well as mentally.
They became lost in the rhythmic slaps of skin on skin. Increasing their speed. Faster and faster, until they began to fly. Swimming in a sea of flames that seared both their souls to the core.
Kirk could feel the sweat drip off of him. He was surrounded in heat, encased in desire, desperate to find relief. He reached around and grabbed Spock's cock and began to milk him. Sweat and pre-come gliding with him as he stroked.
And they both began to climb.
They came in deep shuddering waves. Wave after wave after wave of intense pleasure. Their cries were deafened against the roar that resonated in their ears.
Spock came to first. He turned around
to face Kirk who had fallen beside him. His movement slipped Kirk out of
his body causing a near silent whimper to escape from the human. Kirk opened
his eyes and looked at Spock. At the same time, they reached and wrapped
themselves in each other's arms, becoming a tangle of limbs.
They held each other for a long time. Content to feel the other's heartbeat, one against his chest, the other against his side.
"I do believe that we have created a new odor."
Kirk started laughing, rumbling quietly into Spock's shoulder. Spock delighted in the vibrations that passed between their bodies and hugged Kirk tighter.
"Are you saying we stink?"
"It is not an entirely unpleasant smell. But it is rather pungent. Perhaps a shower should be our next activity?"
Kirk raised his head so that his eyes might meet Spock's. Lifting his hand to delicately caress one upturned ear.
"Why? We'll just have to take another one later. Might as well conserve water and take only one shower instead of....five...ten"
Spock lifted one eyebrow as Kirk managed to look sheepish and sexy at the same time.
"That is quite logical."
"I'm not done with you yet, Mister. We might as well explore this new odor completely. In fact, I think we should wallow in it. Let it permeate into all corners of my quarters."
Kirk had moved his attention to Spock's chest and was lightly running his fingers through the sweat-curled hair.
"And after we have so thoroughly permeated these quarters, what do you suggest we do then?"
Kirk had a dangerous look in his eye as he leaned in to nip at Spock's neck, sending little tremors through the Vulcan's body. He moved himself on top of Spock, covering him with his body. He raised his upper torso, resting the weight onto his arms as he lowered his head and began to probe Spock's mouth, making love to Spock with his tongue. Little in and out movements that caused the Vulcan to start thrusting his hardening cock against Kirk in an answering rhythm.
Then, T'hy'la, we move to your quarters, and lay our claim there as well.
And as Kirk slowly worshipped Spock's mouth, they started rocking back and forth, uniting their heat and renewed hardness together. Spock's hands found Kirk's ass and cradled the silken flesh as he wrapped his legs around Kirk's. And they rose to a new climax as they sought fulfillment.
All other thoughts fled as they looked into each other's eyes and merged as one.